"Been there, done that, messed around. I’m having fun, don't put me down. I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet."
When I am feeling gloomy, worthless, anxious, Bulletproof by La Roux is my serotonin. Uplifting songs such as these have really gotten me through times of uncertainty. “Girls in the Hood,” “you should see me in a crown,” “Blow Me (One Last Kiss),” and “Break my Heart” are some bops I have been playing frequently while driving, reminding myself that I am a bad *bleep* (TikTok reference haha).
“Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch. And life’s too short for me to stop. Oh baby, your time is running out.”
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my emotions that I forget that I only have one life… I am not living for anyone else… and who cares what people think. We are more resilient than we think we are.
Besides helping me get through life, music makes my life more interesting and helps with school. Without it, I would be bored out of my mind while studying for hours on end. Many of my neurotypical friends think background music is too distracting for studying. If they do play music, they will listen to classical or maybe lo-fi beats. But in such a scattered mind of mine that has a million things running through it, music is a “distraction” that helps keep me focused, as ironic as that sounds. I have a playlist called “attention deficit edm” that has helped me get through my monotonous assignments. I am from San Jose, which is like rave central, but I still rarely listen to EDM for pleasure (unless it’s pregaming to frat party music). I like to exclusively listen to it when alone during study sessions. EDM is perfect for people with ADHD, as it is a natural way to increase dopamine, which I lack.
For me, I am more likely to concentrate in a buzzing coffee shop than I am in a library, although during this pandemic, I really miss studying in both places. The smell of coffee beans, the aura, the coffee shop relaxing music, with caffeine in a cup is a combo I will never again take for granted. There is something so calming about coffee shops that unless there is a group of annoying valley girls gossiping around me, it is almost like white noise to me. I zone out with my cup of coffee, hearing tunes that soothe my soul. It is like a bandaid for a Monday morning.
Some people tell me I am an old white man with a beard trapped in the body of a petite Asian girl. This is because I constantly listen to oldies. It takes me back to my childhood when my father would always play Alicia Keys, Adele, David Bowie, The Beatles, and Billy Joel. My favorites in my “stroking my beard” Spotify playlist would be “Landslide,” “Tiny Dancer,” “Don’t Stop Me Now,” and “Imagine.” These melodies just make me think back to when I was a little girl and would dance to these tunes. Some of the songs, I am ashamed to say, I know from watching “The Voice” as a teen. When I hear someone play an oldies song, it makes me smile out of nostalgia.